Everyone Poops! (Except My Daughter…)

April 18, 2012 § 4 Comments

Not my daughter. She does not poop.

 

Welcome to my first ever blog post about POOP! I feel like such a big girl now!!

Yes, we own the book. What parent doesn’t own “Everyone Poops”? (We also own “The Gas We Pass” – equally as titillating…) But you know who doesn’t poop? MY KID. Well, it’s not exactly that she doesn’t poop. It’s more of a refusal thing. PT1 refuses to poop.

If you’ve stood near my back door at night (First of all, my back door leads into the bathroom – and yes, I know that’s weird. Second of all, what the hell were you doing by my back door at night?!?), you’ve probably heard PT1 screaming her head off like someone was beating the living daylights out of her. And as calm and level-headed as I try to be about the situation, you’ve probably heard me lose it a few times as well. And what is all the commotion about? POOP! Yep, nightly poop fights in the trailer park. Ain’t we just classy?

I should probably preface with a bit of toilet training history for PT1. We started when she was about 18 months old, and she did number 1 and number 2 a couple times each with no problems. Then, mommy (read:  ME) messed all that up for her. I emptied her potty chair after she went, and she decided she wanted to sit on it again, and I let her (thinking YAY!! She STILL wants to sit on the potty!!) without checking that I had the seat all the way back on. Long story short, her chubby little leg got pinched between the seat and the base, and potty training life as we knew it was over.

After the pinching incident, she was so scared of the potty chair, she would walk around it as far as possible whenever she was in the bathroom. Sometimes refuse to come in the bathroom entirely. In fact, she NEVER went on that potty chair again until after she was already sitting on the big toilet to pee. And the only reason she did it then was that someone was already occupying the throne, and nature was calling loud and clear.

So it took us until she was 3 1/2 until she would actually pee on the toilet. It was AGONIZING. And even after she started peeing in the toilet, she still wouldn’t poop in the toilet.

Right before she was completely toilet trained (for number 1), she got constipated. We took her to the doctor and they gave us the stool softener and the whole 9 yards. After taking it for three weeks under doctor supervision, I knew she had to go, but couldn’t. She felt yucky, wouldn’t eat, nothing. So before I had to take her to the hospital for a complete blockage, I tried the one thing I NEVER wanted to put my child through…an enema.

I cannot describe in words the pain T and I felt for her, laying on the bathroom floor, crying, shaking uncontrollably, scared and wondering why her (up until now) loving parents would put her through this torture. There were tears in our eyes as we looked searchingly at each other to figure out if this was going to scar her view of us permanently. And then it happened. My small framed 3 1/2 year old pooped. But not just any old regular poop. SOFTBALL sized poop. TWO of them. I still, to this day, wonder how they came out of her and didn’t cause permanent physical damage. Seriously, they were almost as big as her head. No child should EVER have to go through that. EVER.

So since then, she has been so scared to poop that she will hold it until it is physically pushing itself out of her body (and soiling all of her underwear – don’t get me started). She’ll hold it in for up to a week at a time if she can. And yet, every time she does poop, she gets immense amounts of poop-praise and says it doesn’t hurt. But the stigma is still there. It could hurt. It might hurt. And she’s scared.

And I get it, I do. But I get frustrated. I get tired of cleaning poop stains out of her underwear. I get tired of her smelling like poop when it’s trying to bust out of her. And I have no idea how to make her un-scared of pooping. So I make her sit on the toilet until she poops when I know she has to go. Not hours, or days, but I tell you, that fifteen to twenty minutes, you would think we were killing her.

She screams at the top of her lungs. She kicks. She hits. She cries. She acts like she is possessed. I am not joking in the slightest.  Those fifteen to twenty minutes every few days are the WORST mommy moments ever. And I don’t have any clue how to get them to stop.

We’ve had discussions (she is a VERY intelligent four year old), we’ve read books (Everyone Poops!), we’ve given her copious amounts of poop-praise and prizes, we’ve gotten in screaming matches because I don’t know how else to handle it. I’ve explained that she cannot go to preschool (which she wants to do with every ounce of her being) until she can poop on the potty when she needs to go. I’ve explained that if she doesn’t poop, she will end up in the hospital with a very mean doctor having to cut her tummy open and take out the poop that way. But still, every time she feels it coming, she runs and hides and crosses her legs and holds it in for dear life.

ONE YEAR. That is how much of my life I have lost to poop fights. TO POOP FIGHTS!!!  So what can I do? A little help out there, internet world? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I am desperate. Shoot me comments. Ask your friends and shoot me their comments. So there it is. I’m begging for help from complete strangers. That’s what I’ve got for now. Now, I must go get PT1 another pair of underwear……..

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§ 4 Responses to Everyone Poops! (Except My Daughter…)

  • I have no sage advice to offer but I can tell you that you’re not alone. Boy 1 has the SAME problem and we’ve been through the ringer with doctors to see if it was a medical problem to find out its not, its just him.

    • Oh, man. I thought about taking her to the doc as well, but knew by the way she was acting that it was just stubbornness (why does she have to be so much like me?!?). At least we can commiserate together!!!

  • Beth says:

    Everything you’ve written here is exactly what I have gone through for years with my 8-year-old. The term is ‘encopresis’; my son is treated with miralax every day and he has to sit on the potty with no toys or books for 15 minutes each morning, but he will straight-up tell you he hates it. He’s has some toilet-clogging softballs more times than I can count, and now that he’s seen a pediatric gastrointerologist, we’re on a ‘maintainence plan’ because not too long ago, he became impacted and had to have his poop pulled out of him in the e.r. LITERALLY. I feel your frustration, been there done that and if I had a nickel for every time I had to hang out in the bathroom with him, begging and pleading and holding his hand, I’d have retired by now. It’s exhausting. Hang in there, but do yourself a favor and consult with a pediatric g.i. just to make sure there’s nothing else going on. He’ll probably put your little one on a diet to insure her poops stay soft. Plum juice and miralax work wonders. Once she knows her poops won’t hurt, it might get easier for you.

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