Awesome Things You Can Blow Your Paycheck On (If You Didn’t Blow It At The Bar Last Night) Part 1

April 21, 2012 § 1 Comment

FEATURE TIME!!!!

As you have probably heard, I am addicted to VSauce on YouTube. He covers some amazing science type stuff among many, many other things. One of those amazing things is LÜT (loot)! Awesome stuff you can actually buy online. Or sometimes not so awesome..corny, creepy, weird…whatever you want to call it, it is available for purchase.

So, since most of you probably don’t have time to watch a million videos of cool stuff you can buy, or spend HOURS looking for it yourself, I’m going to post some of my favorite things from LÜT as well as other places on the interwebz right here every Saturday. To remind some of you what you COULD have bought if you hadn’t blown your Friday paycheck on booze. That’ll teach YOU a lesson!!

Awake AND Clean? Yes, please!

Let’s start with stuff to wake you up. How about Shower Shock Caffeinated Soap?!? Available on Amazon, who wouldn’t want an extra dose of caffeine in the shower? Would save you the calories of that extra cup of coffee with cream every morning! And if you’re not awake enough, just GET MORE CLEAN! How is that a bad thing?!?

 

Now, all you ever need for breakfast is toast.

Breakfast time!!! Who wouldn’t want Bacon Jam?!? Foodzie offers these Original and Fennel Black Pepper varieties of bacon jam. They recommend them for cooking, etc., but I cannot fathom that this would not be good simply slathered on toast.

100 times better than beef jerky...

And for those of you that like your bacon a little less…gelatinous…Bacon Jerky!! To me, this is slightly reminiscent of Beggin Strips dog treats, but for humans. But I betcha it would be a hundred times more tasty than standard beef jerky! Rural King offers 2.75 ounces of this tasty snack for only $4.

UPDATE 4/25/2012:  My real-life friend found some of this at a Convenience Store (!) His verdict? “I think they smoke the bacon with CRACK, because I CAN’T STOP EATING IT!!!!!!!!” -So now we know…and I must have it.

Moldy sammich, anyone?

Lunchtime!!! Keep lunch thieves away with your Anti-Theft Lunch Bags! No more going to the work fridge to take out your delicious, healthy, home-packed lunch and finding it stolen! And at Thinkofthe.com, they also offer the paper outer bags, complete with mold as well.

Ooohhh, I don't know if I should sit on that. It looks like it might just tip over!

Onto our “For the Home” section! Do you not necessarily want your guests to sit and stay awhile? Check out the Shadow Chair! From Duffy London, this illusion chair is sure to put any guest ill-at-ease while in your home. I’m pretty sure if I saw one of these somewhere and didn’t know about it beforehand, I’d pass up the seat. But you DO know about it now. You’re welcome.

So you can know they're coming before you get abducted!

And who’s home would be complete without a UFO Detector? Amazon sells these in two different styles (maybe more, I just couldn’t believe there were even two!). It supposedly detects magnetic and electromagnetic disturbances. So, basically, if you have a microwave that you actually USE, this renders itself as a $150 paperweight… But still, cool conversation piece!

Need some round pills to go with those round bubbles?

 Now for the stuff that’s just for fun! (YAY for pointless FUN!!!) Got a rave to go to tonight? Then you’ll need some Tekno Bubbles to take along!  Amazon (what did we ever do without them?!?) carries these blacklight sensitive bubbles. For the kid in you. On drugs.

Now, you can knock out yourself AND someone else while getting drunk!

Think you’ll have a need to protect yourself at your rave? Then why don’t you build some Canchucks?  Canchucks.com will give you an instant download of their DIY video so you too can make these bad boys! And everything you need is available at your friendly local hardware store. Probably including the beer.

So much cooler than Sock'em Boppers!

Or if you really just want to punch someone in the face, but don’t want to seriously mangle them, try these Inflatable Boxing Gloves!  Amazon (again!) has these in a million different sizes and colors. I imagine they would be equally as good to use if you want to wake up a sleeping spouse while laughing maniacally.

Oh, this book would be SOOOO full!

And after you’ve successfully punched someone in the face, you can mark off your accomplishment in your little black book of People I Want to Punch in the Face! I’m sure we could all fill up one or two of these beauties. Also, it would be great fun to pull out and write in when someone KNOWS they’ve pissed you off…

Mmmmmm, you smell like PIG!

Are you tired of everyone else’s man smelling better than yours (or better than YOU)? Forget the body sprays – just get some Que Cologne! Instantly transform any man from sweaty, smelly gym socks into genuine barbecued BEEF!  And who doesn’t love a big ol’ chunk of BBQ beef?!?

It both is, and is not, alive...

And last but not least, for all of you who are as addicted to The Big Bang Theory as I am (gosh, it sounds like I get addicted waaaaaay too easily!), you should have no problem realizing why I love this so much. I now present a Schrodinger’s Cat T-Shirt! Pretty self explanatory, but for those who have not seen the show, WHAT IN THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? I guess you could also look the theory up online, but where’s the fun in that?

OK, boys and girls, that’s all my Awesome Stuff You Can Blow Your Paycheck On (If You Didn’t Blow It At The Bar Last Night) for this week. I’ll keep scouring the web for cool stuff and bring you some more next week. If you have something awesome you want to blow YOUR paycheck on, send a link my way. Don’t keep that stuff to yourself!! If I feature it, I’ll mention you (if you want).  If you don’t want to be mentioned, that’s cool too. I have no problem taking credit that isn’t mine. 🙂

See? I told you you’d like the feature 🙂

Disclaimer: I have not actually tried ANY of these products, as I am beyond poor. I am also not endorsing any of them, or getting paid by any of their manufacturers or resellers (though I would NOT be opposed to kick-backs…). If you buy these products, do so at your own risk, and don’t go blaming me if they’re not what you expected. Thanks. 🙂

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