Sorry, folks.

May 12, 2012 § Leave a comment

Sorry, folks, but there will be no ATYCBYPO today. It is too effing hot outside to sit in this house and put it together. Instead, I will be spending the next 2 days outside with my kiddos. Slathered in SPF 1,000,000. Maybe I will catch up next week and do a double. Maybe. Hope you all have a fantastic weekend!! ūüôā

 

 

Awesome Things You Can Blow Your Paycheck On (If You Didn’t Blow It At The Bar Last Night) Part 3 – Cinco de Mayo Edition!

May 5, 2012 § Leave a comment

Well, here we are with a late, but fun-filled installment of ATYCBYPO! It’s Cinco de Mayo, so let’s get this party started!!

Mexican Costume

Comes complete with the donkey! What else do you need?!?

What should you wear to the party? No party is complete without a full-on pancho wearing, sombrero donning, mustachioed gentleman on a donkey! And with this Hey Amigo Costume from SMI Sales Inc’s Amazon Web Store, you get all the components wrapped up into one cute little package!

 

Lil' Bandito Costume

And a matching costume for your dog!

And now you and your best four-legged friend can be look alikes too! Brands On Sale carries this Lil’ Bandito Costume which is actually kind of cute…if you’re one of those people that likes to make your pooch feel like he’s part of the party. (There’s actually a Mariachi Chihuahua outfit floating around out there somewhere, but I could NOT find one for sale…that one is much less embarassing for the pooch….ok, maybe not…)

 

Christmas Tree Luchador Mask

I’m not sure if I should be drinking Cuervo or Eggnog right now……

How about your very own Luchador mask? Amazon sells this Christmas Tree Luchador Mask, though I’m not exactly sure why you need a Luchador mask that looks like a Christmas Tree…Semi-confused on this one.

 

Mexican Gringo Mustache

Now you too can look like Juan Valdez!

If you’re not so into the entire costume idea, how about just this¬†Mexican Gringo Zapata Cowboy Human Hair Moustache? Ebay has everything, I swear. This one is even made of REAL HUMAN HAIR! So….what part of the body do they remove this hair from to get it to look like a mustache? I don’t think I want to know………

 

I love Tacos hoodie

Oh, I do. I really, really do.

Or how about just this hoodie that professes to the world your love for the layered, shelled deliciousness that is the taco? This I Love Tacos Hoodie is from Etsy (where else?) and I think I need one of these. Like right now.

 

Cool Story, Bro!!

OK, ok…enough of dressing you up. How about dressing up your beer? YEAH BEER!!! Beardo sells these cool Beermo Bottle Mustaches in a six pack (LOL!) Not only cool for Cinco de Mayo, but pretty much every. single. day.

 

Beer Serape

With this serape and the beer ‘stache, your beer will be the best dressed item at the par-tay!

Keep your beer cold ’til it’s gone with this Fiesta Serape Beer Cozy¬†from Pinatas.com! (YES! There IS a pinatas.com!!!) I’m tempted to put a little sombrero on it, too, just to see if people start talking to it when they get really drunk!

 

Oh, I hope there’s taco sauce in that pinata!!

And what to eat at this fiesta? How about whatever is in this¬†Giant Taco Pinata¬†from Etsy? I’m thinking I could fill it with Doritos Loco Tacos from Taco Bell and some taco sauce and be one happy chica!!!

 

Yo Quiero Taco Bell!

Whatever you do, don’t eat the dog. Even after too much cerveza or tequila, and even if it’s dressed in this adorable Taco Dog Costume from Pampered Dog Gifts. Pretty sure you would end up with more hair in your mouth than taco, and that’s never a good time!

 

Who thinks it is a good idea to eat something that will burn your mouth forEVER?

If you are one of those crazy people that like it HOT, why not grow your own Ghost Chili Peppers? Right now, for just 10 bucks, you can buy one Ghost Pepper Plant, and get one Cherry Pepper Plant free! Such a deal to burn your face off!!!

 

You do WHAT in that thing?

After a few of those peppers, you’re probably going to need one of these. Well, maybe not one this fancy, but this handcrafted Mexican Talavera ¬†Toilet Set¬†from Ebay would do the trick. It’s pricey, but it’s pretty, and if you gotta pray to the porcelain god after the tequila, wouldn’t you rather look into something this pretty than….well….whatever’s in yours?

 

Uhhhhhhhh, no thanks. I will TOTALLY pass.

No Cinco de Mayo party is complete without the TEQUILA!! If you don’t drink it for whatever reason (it makes your clothes fall off, etc…) you can still join the festivities with the Hotlix Tequila Worm Sucker¬†from Amazon! Yes, it is tequila flavored, so make sure you have some salt and lime nearby. And yes, that is a real worm inside. In case you haven’t hit your worm quota for your lifetime.

 

For this price, it had BETTER make my clothes fall off! And make me coffee in the morning!

And I saved the best (ok, maybe not best, but definitely most expensive!) for last! Through Ebay, you can get a 24k Gold and Silver plated bottle of Tequila Ley Gran Reserva Diamante. At only $5k per bottle, this stuff better keep me wasted until NEXT Cinco de Mayo!!!

 

Well, that’s all I have for you this week, ladies and gents. Sorry it’s been so late coming, but I have a lot to do before I start work Monday. Hey, maybe then I’ll actually be able to blow MY paychecks on some of this stuff too!! (Yeah, right!!)

Never Get Into A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Individual – Even If It’s Yourself

May 1, 2012 § Leave a comment

Ah, Teen Jeopardy. T and I had a long discussion last night while watching it. (I missed Big Bang Theory for THIS?!?)

We love Jeopardy (NOT more than BBT), but have decided that Teen Jeopardy is not for us.

Regular Jeopardy is great. It not only centers around wonderful, scholarly trivia, but also the useless, trivial information that both T and I are so good at remembering. We have contests to see who can get more answers right. It expands our brain power, and teaches us things.  And it makes learning fun.

Kids’ Jeopardy is a blast. Why? Because you feel like a GENIUS!!! You know the answer to every. single. question! What’s a bigger ego boost than beating Jeopardy?!? (And the kiddos are always sooooo cute, dressed in their best clothes, and are tickled when they get a question right…)

But Teen Jeopardy lies right in the middle. The kids are no longer cute. And the questions are not easy like Kids’ Jeopardy. More often than not, they’re harder than regular Jeopardy. Why? It’s simple. It’s all the stuff you were taught in High School, but forgot because you never had to use it!

The real kicker is the fact that most of us KNOW all the answers to Teen Jeopardy. But we never know that we knew them until they reveal the answer. (Following?) So with every question/answer you have a “DUH! I knew that!” moment.

Our brains have pushed this information aside for the more “important” information that we use every day. Like remembering where your two year old took off her shoes. Or that you forgot to put the clothes in the dryer before you went to bed last night. Or that your four year old has eaten nothing but applesauce for four days and is probably lacking protein (among other things). Or even to check the oil in the car before you go on a trip. Things that are useful and necessary to every day survival as an adult.

The only time we can recall that we ever knew the information that these teenagers can recall at the drop of a hat is if we’re given the information¬†again. ¬†There’s no room in our busy, daily lives to remember who the 12th President of the United States was (Zachary Taylor). Or what is the fifteenth element in the Periodic Table (Phosphorus). ¬†But if someone tells us what it is, our brain says “Oh, yeah. I knew that. But I forgot.”

So we’re sitting last night watching Teen Jeopardy, and feeling a little sheepish about all the stuff we’ve “forgotten” along the way. Final Jeopardy comes on, and the subject is “Federal Government Agencies” or something like that. Hubs says “They’re probably going to give an acronym and want the actual name of the agency. That should be easy. There can’t be too many of those.” To which I reply, “What? There are THOUSANDS of those!!” Which was my first mistake, because then T thinks it is a challenge…

“Like the FDA?” He says…and I reply “Food and Drug Administration…” Which set off the next chain of events.

T: “CIA?”

Me: “Central Intelligence Agency”

T: “FBI”

Me: “Federal Bureau of Investigation” (I’m pretty good with acronyms. Usually……)

T: “ATF”

…….. Brain. Fart. I honestly cannot think of what this means to save my life. My integrity is on the line here! If I don’t get this, I will NEVER hear the end of it. Not. Ever. GUNS! I know it has something to do with guns!!!!

Me: “Artillery…….Task…….Force……?”

OMG!!! I knew it was wrong the second it squeaked past my lips. But it was too late.

T: “WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!? Ha! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! ARTILLERY TASK FORCE?!?”

I. am. screwed.

Me: ¬†” Well, I remember it has to do with guns…”

T: “What about Alcohol, Tobacco, and FIREARMS?”

Oh, yeah. That one…. I KNEW THAT ONE!!!!!

Me: (laughing uncontrollably at myself) “Well, I bet you ANYTHING there actually IS an Artillery Task Force! Somewhere!!”

T: “I’m going to find out RIGHT NOW. If there IS an Artillery Task Force, I am TOTALLY signing up! ARTILLERY TASK FORCE! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”

I will never live this down, but have also not laughed so hard in weeks. And I know he wasn’t making fun of me, but was laughing with me for all the silly things we have both forgotten. It was one of the few times that I have allowed my guard down with everything that’s been going on, and just laughed. At myself.

So was I right? Yes and no. There IS an artillery task force. It is NOT a Federal Government Agency. But I don’t care. Teen Jeopardy was good for one thing yesterday. It made me realize that even when things are not so great, you still have to take the time to laugh at yourself. Because if you can’t laugh at yourself, nothing else is going to be funny. And when nothing¬†in your life is funny, ¬†what’s the point of living it?

So take some time today and laugh. No matter how bad things appear. Even at your own expense. It’s how you know you’re still alive. ¬†And also how you know that things aren’t really as bad as they seem.

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